What Has Gotten Into You?

What is it that I feel inside of me...? What is it that is moving...aside from my heart beat. Aside from my organs and my veins that run through and pump and vibrate with life and blood...what is this tingle? This sparkle? This trembling I feel?

A spark gets started and then lights me on fire. I speak words I don't plan, I bless even when my heart aches. I love even when I feel broken. I care when I feel stone cold and blind. And then these blessings, these beautiful things that flow from my heart begin to change my hearts composition. The color of my insides change from darkened and grey, dry and decayed, to vibrant and alive! They transform to colors and light and soft plains where love and truth can rest...

It is not me.

I want someone to ask me, "what has gotten into you?" so that I can tell them WHO has gotten into me.

"A helper will come and be with you...as I am with you, this Helper will be inside of you...you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you." (The Gospel of John, chapter 14, verses 16, 17 & 20 paraphrased).

A helper has come who is just like Jesus Christ, who knows well all the mysteries and all the knowledge of God the Father...and He is inside of me. He came inside me the day that my eyes were opened to the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ. But I have quenched him. I have toned him down and painted over his powers with the so-called 'goodness' of my faith. The so-called 'virtue' I think I have worked for and carried and put on like a show, selling tickets and receiving profits for the empty words I speak without love, this has done not good for the glory of the Lord, but it has built me up in my pride and been a pedestal for me to stand on and wave to the fans. Now, I will no longer put on a suit of tin foil, but I will place on the armor of God and the Sword of the Spirit will be my tool. I will not filter the voice of God and pick and choose what works for me, I will not exlude what seems 'unrealistic' or 'difficult,' but I will embrace the Spirit that has been caged within my soul by my ignorance. I will open the door of my heart and allow the Spirit of God to work and live and breath. Read this,

"26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:26-28 ESV).

But I will not blaspheme what the Lord says. Check out 1 Corinthians, Paul wrote to them about the Spirit and says this, "4 Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; 5 and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; 6 and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. 7 To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good." (chapter 12, verses 4-7).

Paul goes on to talk about how some are given the gift to utter wisdom, some are given the gift of faith, some are given the gift of healing the sick, some are given the gift of discerning between Sprits and some are given the gift of prophecy, or tongues. Some are given the gift to utter knowledge and some are given the ability to work miracles, BUT "all these are empowered by ONE and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills."

So I now seek to embrace the gift of the Lord according to His will in my life. I seek to invite the uniting of God and myself in my soul, I will receive His invitation to become His daughter! "but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons [and daighters], by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God."

I am not perfect. I am far from His standard and have much of this path left to walk, but I now choose to live in the Grace of My Lord Jesus Christ. I choose to be used aside from skill or virtue or goodness that I think I need to be accepted by God and by man, and I seek to love through His goodness in my heart and the overflowing of Christ in my life, "10 But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness" for HIS glory, and the love of all His children, my brothers and sisters... Sola Ingratia.