the darkest night before morning

i breath in the chill..
my heart faintly beats.

it is cold and
it is still.
I hear no life,
I feel no warmth.

The only pulse is slow
and without rhythm.

The wind blows past,
as I walk in the night.
The ground is still,
I am all that I hear.

Shades of black
make the squares that I see,
tall and empty houses
on this street.
Dark windows,
no lights to be seen.
No life in my dream,
just the chill...
just me.

I walk, my footsteps repeat.
I walk, I look down at my feet,
I slowly point my eyes towards the sky
and before me, where is He?

I guess I wasn't expecting anybody...
if any presence is with me I know it's not Him.

The water beside me is black,
it barely moves,
it is still.

Am I going somewhere?
I think that I've walked this way before
and it has brought me back again.
It has brought me nowhere.

Maybe this time someOne will come,
maybe He'll change the path for me.

Under the bridge, might be something...
I think I'll go under...
what could he do to me
that He couldn't save me from?
I'll be okay, I'll walk in and
go under that way.

Nothing. I hear nothing and see nothing,
I feel nothing but still,
I think there is something...
God be with me. There is power in Your name.

GOD

OH MY GOSH, I'm pretty sure I definitely KNOW that I will do missionary work most of my life because being home is so SO stressful. It is so fast-paced and crazy and stressful. If there is one word I don't want to use when describing my life, it is the word stressful or anything like it. Life is not meant to be stressful, fast-paced and so busy that you don't have time to experience God and smell the roses in life. The entire reason we are on this earth in the first place is to enjoy God and KNOW Him. It is so easy for people to make life about them and thinking that their days should consist of ways to make THEMSELVES happy and accomplish their goals. WHHAAAAT? That is so messed up and far away from Gods point of life. Gods point is point A. We have been following point ZZZ by following our own selfish happiness. Honestly, we wouldn't even be alive without Him and we run around life crazy people trying to acquire our own satisfaction and happiness on this earth. ON HIS earth...that we think is ours.

O God, my peaceful, loving Father, please help humanity. Cure us of this disease. We move so fast, God. And for what? We think maybe we know what "it is," this goal we are always after...trying to accomplish...but we don't have a clue! And this whole time we are following after it...we are missing You. We walk right by You in a bumble bee or a rainbow and don't even notice your creation. Yu say hello through an old mans smile and we do not see. You give us a giat hug when the sun is shining and we stand, with our backs to You and our faces trying to embrace the world instead. We do not feel the warmth of Your love through the sunshine, Lord. That is so tragic. Honestly, I'm surprised You haven't destroyed this earth yet.

You have so much patience, Lord. You love us so much that even when we throw dirt in Your face and walk away You say, "I love you." Whether to silently to Yourself or out loud to us, I don't know but Lord, You love us. You truly and fully love us dirty, filthy, hateful sinners. You give us a love that cannot be tarnished by fire or rusted by water. Your love cannot be destroyed or broken or misplaced. God, we can bruise it and scratch it and reject it but You will never stop offering it to us. You heal instantly God. It is like when You were bruised and broken on the cross and still, YOU ROSE AGAIN! That is how Your love is, but it's instant.
God. You amaze me. If that is what You were trying to accomplish, then CHEERS! because You did it. Your love IS extravagant...like that song, Lord. You are so good, Father.

I love You with all my heart, let me not forget Your Godness, Katelyn

i am so bad at blogging :/

Hey everyone, sorry my max amount of blogging was twice in the czech. =0 I was doing a lot and it is hard for me to put into words all that God does. Especially on mission trips. Just know that He did A LOT and there are so many new czechs interested in going to youth group now and God is totally thriving in the cesky tesin area! pray pray pray for the czech republic and the young students who are searching for more than atheism can offer. bless you all, kate