My heart is hard and I am hurt by many things right now, including myself! And in the midst of that I find that one of the only things than can soften my heart is hearing this young woman scream of HOW MUCH OUR GOD LOVES US!!! She sings it so loud and proud and I know it is true, even in my weakness and bitterness and pride and insecurity and ignorance; He loves me. Yes I should repent, I need to lay down my sin before Him and mourn over it and open my heart up for His grace! The fact that He still loves me in the midst of my sin does not mean I don't need to repent. But even while He hurts that my heart doesn't know how to get past my childish immaturity and ask for forgiveness for my stupidity or even to accept His beautiful grace once I do ask Him to forgive me, even then, my Lord loves me! He watches me return to my vomit like a dog and pursue my sin and feed my selfishness and please the other lovers in my life, and He still loves me. He looks down on this earth, not even that, He watches me and walks beside me and sees the selfish things I do, and He just can't wait until I turn around and fall on my knees saying, "Father, forgive me! I do the things I don't want to do and I don't do the things I want to do! Please forgive me and walk with me!" and He will wrap me in mercy! Like the prodigal Son, I return from spoiling my inheritance and eating with the swine, asking my Father to take me as a servant and forgive me for what I have done but He won't allow me to be a servant, I am His daughter! He won't settle for me cleaning toilets and raking leaves, He wants to prepare a party for me and wrap me in His arms and invite back into His home and His heart and His trust and LOVE ME! How beautiful is that love?
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